she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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