butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize