go do what you do best...puke behind churches
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
