let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Help. Why am I so naked?
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