I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
