i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
