Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
