Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
