Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
