My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
