Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
