I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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