Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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