tell your sister to shave her snatch
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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