That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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