Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
