You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
