So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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