My nipple is on Facebook.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize