Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
