i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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