I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Please don't give away my fajitas
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
