There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
