how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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