I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
