he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
