I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
