Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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