I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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