I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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