Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
