dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
