Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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