well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
