Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
