dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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