I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
