I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
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Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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