i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
