made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Damn victory sex feels great
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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