It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
