I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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