I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
