I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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