Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
