how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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