I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
try to milk me bitch
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