I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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