dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
this is an emotional support booty call
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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