ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
