This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
