She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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