there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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