oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
