I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
