so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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