Got a toothbrush?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
