you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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