Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I skipped work to stalk him.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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