do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
