He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
