I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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