Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
