I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
