Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
